Friggin...hell.

Sometimes I really feel like shit.
I really don't know why did I chose this route in the first place.
Everyone's got that advantage while I'm just losing my pace to catch up.
Pressure, pressure, pressure.
Everything's on me.
To think what my dad talked to me about, I felt really upset... no, I'm still feeling it.
What can I do to help. Ah omg. I really gonna breakdown.
I know it isn't what I can do now, but its something I can do in the future.
If there's something I could have done, what could it have been?
To pick a better chance to have a better pay? A better job? A better future?
What you mean by that Chanel. Why are you freaking stupid.
So stupid at times that I just want to let go of every single thing.
Kept telling myself not to lose that hope. Positive positive.
No, it's all crap.
Now reading some research paper and I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.
What's all these talking crap stuff about yearning for the holy grail.
I'm so stupid, yet I can't give up my course.
Unmotivated... seemingly hopeless and stupid.
What can I do.. man seriously. What can I do..
Sorry that I vent. I really do, but I am just really ....sad.
I wanna do great things, saving people like a doctor, help to come up with vaccines.. or even just do some scientific research.
Yet...
My dreams are big, many people around me tell me to dream on.
Am I wrong? Was I wrong?
Overambitious? Right now, I don't know what are my goals anymore.
Everything seems so impossible.
To think after a hiatus, I would post such a crappy post full of regrets.. how nice.

Sigh, I'm sorry.
But really... this semester stress is kicking in too harsh this time.
& guess what... I'm oz-ing what the hell..... Priorities really damn screwed.